Mah book!

For your aural and visual pleasure.
User avatar
Stormbringer
 
Posts: 929
Joined: Thu Apr 21, 2016 10:26 am
Location: The Dark Castle in the Deep Forest

Re: Mah book!

Postby Stormbringer » Wed May 25, 2016 9:23 am

Quietman wrote:Well if Snowy likes it then it must be worth a punt.



Sly Boots wrote:There's my cover quote :lol:


:lol:
Bear welcome in your eye, your hand, your tongue.
Look like th' innocent flower, but be the serpent under ’t.

User avatar
Mantis
Admin
 
Posts: 26990
Joined: Mon Jul 12, 2004 5:53 pm
Location: Nobody's Here

Re: Mah book!

Postby Mantis » Wed May 25, 2016 2:28 pm

I totally forgot that I'd finished this and not dropped a post in here yet.

Well done, Sly. Really a great first effort. The dialogue really sticks out to me as being well written and the main hook that keeps you going page after page. If I had any criticisms it'd be that the earlier chapters have a habit of long exposition dumps, but then that's to be expected when you're introducing a world for the first time I guess; and some of the plot points that drive the story on tend to feel a little too convenient at times.

Spoiler: show
Namely, them finding the entrance to the underground city in a single cave out of hundreds along the coast. Plus Cole and Raven being hoisted up off the balcony at the last second. But those are the only ones that really spring to mind right away.


Don't think I could have done a better job though to say it's your first novel. Really, congrats on the success you're having with it. I'll definitely pick up the sequel, mostly so I can discover the fate of my favourite character, Adelmar.

Spoiler: show
You bastard.

User avatar
Sly Boots
MILF
 
Posts: 13333
Joined: Tue Jun 16, 2009 9:53 pm

Re: Mah book!

Postby Sly Boots » Wed May 25, 2016 3:02 pm

Thanks mate, glad you liked it. :)

It's interesting hearing different people get back to me and say who was their favourite character. Personally Adelmar is one of my faves, one of those who kind of grew beyond what my original intention for them was (same with Brandt), mainly because I enjoyed writing them and found it interesting to let them develop a bit.

Spoiler: show
My wife picked up the first of those, and it is a bit convenient I must admit. Not quite as convenient as when I first plotted it in my head and had Raven and Cole stumble onto the place after escaping Frosthold... I knew quite quickly that stretched credibility to breaking point :lol:. My official line is that it's not the Delvers only settlement - there's a seemingly throwaway line in that chapter where they speculate that Sten's people are too far south to have met the group who once inhabited the city they find. For the Frosthold escape, again, plot reasons really, but I try to explain it a bit by saying the Aevir were on the look-out for them.


The good thing about writing a second (and eventually third) is that I'm not having to do the big info-dumps (there's still some background, but think I'm now doing it a bit more elegantly than I perhaps did in places the first time round), I can kind of pick those characters up and run with them as they're already in motion. That said, my dad (who has read it three times to my knowledge) complained that he didn't remember who anyone is and needs more explanation because he got angry and confused, but hopefully that's just him :lol:

If you liked it, I don't suppose you could rate it on Goodreads? :)
My face is tired.

User avatar
Mantis
Admin
 
Posts: 26990
Joined: Mon Jul 12, 2004 5:53 pm
Location: Nobody's Here

Re: Mah book!

Postby Mantis » Wed May 25, 2016 3:08 pm

Maybe he had trouble keeping track of who was who because a lot of the side characters have a limited number of chapters throughout the book.

I've rated it on goodreads and can stick an actual review up on there later if you like.

User avatar
Sly Boots
MILF
 
Posts: 13333
Joined: Tue Jun 16, 2009 9:53 pm

Re: Mah book!

Postby Sly Boots » Wed May 25, 2016 3:09 pm

Mantis wrote:Maybe he had trouble keeping track of who was who because a lot of the side characters have a limited number of chapters throughout the book.

I've rated it on goodreads and can stick an actual review up on there later if you like.


No, he moaned that he didn't know why Raven starts off where she does, despite it being right at the end of the last book #-o

Review would be great, :D
My face is tired.

User avatar
Mantis
Admin
 
Posts: 26990
Joined: Mon Jul 12, 2004 5:53 pm
Location: Nobody's Here

Re: Mah book!

Postby Mantis » Wed May 25, 2016 8:09 pm

To be fair to him, the epilogue of the book left me slightly confused as to exactly what the hell was happening too. :lol:

Popped a short review up for you.

User avatar
Sly Boots
MILF
 
Posts: 13333
Joined: Tue Jun 16, 2009 9:53 pm

Re: Mah book!

Postby Sly Boots » Wed May 25, 2016 8:56 pm

Thanks Mantis.
My face is tired.

User avatar
Snowy
Metal as Fuck
 
Posts: 10341
Joined: Wed Oct 08, 2003 4:41 pm
Location: Ballhang

Re: Mah book!

Postby Snowy » Tue May 31, 2016 10:58 am

Aaand finished.

I enjoyed the whole thing, but would say that:

Spoiler: show
The climax felt rushed. Cole went from dithering to knowing what to do in the blink of an eye, but with nothing to signpost to the reader what that was or why. I had expected him to use his ability and discover something while on the plane of dreams (or whatever it is) that signposted him, given that time passes more slowly in the real world, which would give him the opportunity. I was also left quite nonplussed by the epilogue, but presumably you are just setting up the second book.


Regardless of those minor niggles, and my gripe with the prose in the first couple of pages (which I am going to re-read and see if it was me or if it really doesn't scan well), I still really rate the book - better than a lot I have read from authors who have publishers, agents and editors behind them.

Will pop a review on Amazon for you and copy it over to Goodreads when I have a chance.
Image
RCHD wrote:Snowy is my favourite. He's a metal God.

User avatar
Sly Boots
MILF
 
Posts: 13333
Joined: Tue Jun 16, 2009 9:53 pm

Re: Mah book!

Postby Sly Boots » Tue May 31, 2016 11:09 am

That'd be awesome, thanks Snowy :)
My face is tired.

User avatar
Mantis
Admin
 
Posts: 26990
Joined: Mon Jul 12, 2004 5:53 pm
Location: Nobody's Here

Re: Mah book!

Postby Mantis » Tue May 31, 2016 11:11 am

You use goodreads, Ian? Leave a review on there so I can stalk your profile for good fantasy recommendations :P

User avatar
Sly Boots
MILF
 
Posts: 13333
Joined: Tue Jun 16, 2009 9:53 pm

Re: Mah book!

Postby Sly Boots » Tue May 31, 2016 11:37 am

Snowy wrote:Aaand finished.

I enjoyed the whole thing, but would say that:

Spoiler: show
The climax felt rushed. Cole went from dithering to knowing what to do in the blink of an eye, but with nothing to signpost to the reader what that was or why. I had expected him to use his ability and discover something while on the plane of dreams (or whatever it is) that signposted him, given that time passes more slowly in the real world, which would give him the opportunity. I was also left quite nonplussed by the epilogue, but presumably you are just setting up the second book.


Regardless of those minor niggles, and my gripe with the prose in the first couple of pages (which I am going to re-read and see if it was me or if it really doesn't scan well), I still really rate the book - better than a lot I have read from authors who have publishers, agents and editors behind them.

Will pop a review on Amazon for you and copy it over to Goodreads when I have a chance.


Regarding the end:

Spoiler: show
If the finale feels a bit rushed... it was a bit. The background to it is that I was becoming alarmed at how it was starting to get out of control lengthwise (it ended up being about 50k words above my initial target), and thought I need to end this now or it'll just be unpublishable (should it ever reach that point). I think I left myself too much to pack in, and I'm noticing in the second book that with a bit more experience under my belt I can move things on a bit more slowly and let the story breathe a bit. Having now said that I'll probably add a ton of new stuff that makes it grow exponentially and the end will probably be another mad dash :lol:

In terms of what Cole did, I'd say that while he certainly decided to do a thing, it probably wasn't the best thing he could have done, given what happened to him. He certainly tried to use the dream plane (I went for a slightly more dramatic action than rummaging in his pocket), but whichever route he'd taken the result would have been the same, the being that was coalescing prior to breaking through was just too powerful for him.

He's where he needs to be, though. I was a bit miffed at one review that complained you don't know Cole's history or the reason for his ability, when the entire point of the trilogy is that both those things - which he himself doesn't know yet - are gradually revealed.
My face is tired.

User avatar
Mantis
Admin
 
Posts: 26990
Joined: Mon Jul 12, 2004 5:53 pm
Location: Nobody's Here

Re: Mah book!

Postby Mantis » Tue May 31, 2016 12:29 pm

I wouldn't worry too much about the reviews saying we don't know enough about their backgrounds. It was pretty clear that the story is setting up for a couple of sequels (it's in the title, duh) so I don't get why people would want every little bit of information fed to them so early.

For what it's worth, does it really matter how big the books are? There isn't a limit on Kindle file sizes is there? If not, make it as long as it needs to be to tell a good story. So long as you edit out the weaker areas and are happy that everything you're left with is important and a worthwhile read. I'd rather read a slightly longer book that's really well done than one where the ending is rushed because the author was conscious that he'd written too much. There's no such thing as too much if you're writing a gripping story!

User avatar
Sly Boots
MILF
 
Posts: 13333
Joined: Tue Jun 16, 2009 9:53 pm

Re: Mah book!

Postby Sly Boots » Tue May 31, 2016 12:35 pm

Mantis wrote:I wouldn't worry too much about the reviews saying we don't know enough about their backgrounds. It was pretty clear that the story is setting up for a couple of sequels (it's in the title, duh) so I don't get why people would want every little bit of information fed to them so early.

For what it's worth, does it really matter how big the books are? There isn't a limit on Kindle file sizes is there? If not, make it as long as it needs to be to tell a good story. So long as you edit out the weaker areas and are happy that everything you're left with is important and a worthwhile read. I'd rather read a slightly longer book that's really well done than one where the ending is rushed because the author was conscious that he'd written too much. There's no such thing as too much if you're writing a gripping story!


It's true, and I certainly wouldn't say it's something that bothers me up to a certain point... but when the second one is done I'm going to make a more concerted effort at pitching it at agents, publishers etc (maybe in the US, where the first book is doing a lot better than anywhere else, which I've not done at all this time), and if it's extremely long then apparently they really don't want to know. Unless you're a George RR Martin obviously who they know will sell bajillions of books to be worth the investment in print costs, shelf space etc.

It's also worth keeping slightly in mind that on Kindle you have to pay a delivery cost (as an author) every time someone downloads the book, based on the file size of said book. Each download of mine costs me about 20p. It's going to be more of an issue for the second book, when I'll have a couple of additional maps to include as well as the ones I've already got this time...
My face is tired.

User avatar
Sly Boots
MILF
 
Posts: 13333
Joined: Tue Jun 16, 2009 9:53 pm

Re: Mah book!

Postby Sly Boots » Tue May 31, 2016 1:10 pm

Out of interest, when did you guys guess that

Spoiler: show
The Archon's giant was Raven's dad? There might be other twists to come, and I'm not sure whether for that one I gave away too much, too soon, whether it was pitched about right etc...
My face is tired.

User avatar
Mantis
Admin
 
Posts: 26990
Joined: Mon Jul 12, 2004 5:53 pm
Location: Nobody's Here

Re: Mah book!

Postby Mantis » Tue May 31, 2016 1:19 pm

Actually that was one thing that I didn't really pick up on at all, I figured it out about a page before it was revealed as their duel began. I think the story emphasised her quest for revenge against the Archon more than finding her father a lot of the time, so it was never something I gave a serious thought to as I was reading.

PreviousNext

Return to Music and Literature

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest